TISM The Parable of Glenn McGrath’s Haircut Lyrics

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[Refrain]
Ooh, ahh, Glenn McGrath
Ooh, ahh, Glenn McGrath
Ooh, ahh, Glenn McGrath
Ooh, ahh, Glenn McGrath

[Verse 1]
My mate Roger got a girl pregnant when he was fourteen
He was so shit scared he told me
And when he said that her dad was a cop
I thought he was joking
I told him he’s got to tell someone
And so he went and told a teacher
And the girl eventually got an abortion
He was fucking shitting himself, let me tell you
But six months later, he was fucking around like always

[Refrain]
Ooh, aahh, Glenn McGrath
Ooh, aahh, Glenn McGrath
How did we win?.... Eeeeeaaaasy

[Verse 2]
"You better watch it," I thought to myself
But Roger was pretty fucking sure of himself
He was the guy who first bought a block of hash to a party
'Cause I was his friend I was there
When he first showed it to people
We all went down the backyard and he rolled a joint
Where did he get it from?
My parents would have killed me if they knew
Thought we’d all turn into junkies or something
If we had too much

[Refrain]
(Ooh-ooh) Ooh, ahh, Glenn McGrath
(Ooh-ooh) Ooh, ahh, Glenn McGrath
(Ooh-ooh) Ooh, ahh, Glenn McGrath
(Ooh-ooh) Ooh, ahh, Glenn McGrath

[Verse 3]
The last time I saw Roger was last year at the Boxing Day Test
He’d turned into such a fat, normal yobbo cunt
"The wife nearly didn’t let me out today," he said
And he did all that chanting yobs do, like
"Ooh, ahh, Glenn McGrath"
It got you in the end, I thought to myself as I looked at Roger
Life got you in the end, pal
You were such a cocky successful winner when we were sixteen
But now you’re just another sad, fat prick
Sitting in the MCG high-fiving in self-congratulation
As if it’s you that had the skill and determination to play for Australia
It’s the cunts with the bad haircuts that you’ve got to watch out for
There’s never been a popular teenager yet who’s done rats with their life
It’s the fucking dorks that give it a real go
Glenn McGrath got 5 for 50 that day

[Refrain]
Ooh, aahh, Glenn McGrath
Ooh, aahh, Glenn McGrath
Ooh, aahh, Glenn McGrath
Ooh, aahh, Glenn McGrath

www.tism.wanker.com Track Listing
CD 1
  • 1 (There’s Gonna Be) Sex Tonite
  • 2 Whatareya?
  • 3 Dumb ’n’ Base
  • 4 Thunderbirds Are Coming Out
  • 5 Been Caught Wankin’
  • 6 Denial Works for Me
  • 7 The Parable of Glenn McGrath’s Haircut
  • 8 I Might Be a Cunt, but I’m Not a Fucking Cunt
  • 9 Yob
  • 10 Great Expectorations
  • 11 A Hard‐Earned Thirst Needs a Big Cold Beer, but I Drink to Get Pissed
  • 12 The Men’s Room
    CD 2
  • 1 [untitled]
  • 2 Describe the Worst Head Job I’ve Had? — Fantastic!
  • 3 [untitled]
  • 4 The Last Australian Guitar Hero
  • 5 [untitled]
  • 6 Kate — Fischer of Men
  • 7 My Brilliant Huntington’s Chorea
  • 8 [untitled]
  • 9 The Apology of the Thai Drug Runner
  • 10 [untitled]
  • 11 Julius Seizure (Act III, Scene II, Verses 73–118)
  • 12 Neighbours — Everybody Loves Good Neighbours
  • 13 [untitled]
  • 14 Opposite Day
  • 15 [untitled]
  • 16 Rebel Without a Paunch
  • 17 [untitled]
  • 18 The Only Thing Stopping Me From Being Happy Is That I’m Not More Depressed
  • 19 [untitled]
  • 20 Professor Derrida Deconstructs
  • 21 Ya Gotta Love That
  • Artists A to Z: