TISM The Only Thing Stopping Me From Being Happy Is That I’m Not More Depressed Lyrics

www.tism.wanker.com Track Listing
CD 1
  • 1 (There’s Gonna Be) Sex Tonite
  • 2 Whatareya?
  • 3 Dumb ’n’ Base
  • 4 Thunderbirds Are Coming Out
  • 5 Been Caught Wankin’
  • 6 Denial Works for Me
  • 7 The Parable of Glenn McGrath’s Haircut
  • 8 I Might Be a Cunt, but I’m Not a Fucking Cunt
  • 9 Yob
  • 10 Great Expectorations
  • 11 A Hard‐Earned Thirst Needs a Big Cold Beer, but I Drink to Get Pissed
  • 12 The Men’s Room
    CD 2
  • 1 [untitled]
  • 2 Describe the Worst Head Job I’ve Had? — Fantastic!
  • 3 [untitled]
  • 4 The Last Australian Guitar Hero
  • 5 [untitled]
  • 6 Kate — Fischer of Men
  • 7 My Brilliant Huntington’s Chorea
  • 8 [untitled]
  • 9 The Apology of the Thai Drug Runner
  • 10 [untitled]
  • 11 Julius Seizure (Act III, Scene II, Verses 73–118)
  • 12 Neighbours — Everybody Loves Good Neighbours
  • 13 [untitled]
  • 14 Opposite Day
  • 15 [untitled]
  • 16 Rebel Without a Paunch
  • 17 [untitled]
  • 18 The Only Thing Stopping Me From Being Happy Is That I’m Not More Depressed
  • 19 [untitled]
  • 20 Professor Derrida Deconstructs
  • 21 Ya Gotta Love That
  • Been readin' The River Ophelia - I'd love a masochistic streak;
    But I am just a normal guy - I even use capital "S" -
    Why, I'd rather tell the papers that I secretly cross-dress;
    Women Who Run With Men Who Hate Wolves just left me unimpressed -
    I'm sure that I'd be happier if I could be more depressed.

    To get anywhere these days it seems a problem's a necessity;
    Your father's gay; heroin's passe - just another fashion accessory;
    I tried Recovered Memory, but that put me in a bind
    Cos I became hypnotically aware my Dad was really kind.
    You might have once been traumatized, but we're not all similarly blessed -
    I'm sure that I'd be happier if I could be more depressed.

    I went along to the Men's Movement - "Stop crying, girl," they'd shout;
    Steve Biddulph, who wrote that Manhood book, got up and punched my lights out;
    I went along to the women's room, but all I did was get it wrong -
    I told 'em Smack Your Bitch Up was my current favorite song;
    "But the Prodigy are so confronting," I tried vainly to protest:
    I'm sure that I'd be happier if I could be more depressed.

    I lied to the Gambling Help Line, said I'd made my family poor -
    When I asked what chance recovery, they offered me nine to four;
    I rang that Alan Jones guy up, but he couldn't help me either:
    "You a battler or a bludger?" he said - it turns out, I was neither!
    "Come back when you're a stereotype if you wanna be in the press."
    I'm sure that I'd be happier if I could be more depressed.

    Finally I told the wife the reason I'd been so undemanding,
    And what was worse, she took it well, and was totally understanding;
    Those self-destructing relationships are simply too much fuss:
    Whose Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Well, I gotta say, not us -
    Would you believe I like my kids? Can you get more mentally messed?
    I'm sure that I'd be happier if I could be more depressed.

    Why is it just so hard for me to take things way too far?
    I'd like to travel beyond good and evil, but first I gotta wash the car;
    I'd like to get a nipple ring and connect it to my dodger,
    But somehow it just don't suit a bloke whose name is plain old Roger-
    I'd be a member of the underclass, but they'd laugh at how I dressed:
    I'm sure that I'd be happier if I could be more depressed.

    So it looks like I got to give up my dream of joining the Bad Seeds -
    Those guys can't handle confronting concepts, like "thanks" and "please"
    Sneaking 16 things in the "12 Items Only" aisle will be my biggest sin;
    It's the shopping center of modern consciousness that I will stay trapped in -
    I buy my junk from off the streets - I find The Trading Post's the best:
    I'm sure that I'd be happier if I could be more depressed.

    I just know I can't be creative. Why? I'm not depressed enough -
    Yet I wish I was the guy who wrote: "If you're creative - get stuffed."
    There's a competition going to have the most painful lives,
    But the pain you feel from nine to five I guess don't qualify.
    Your life might be miserable, but that don't stop your art from being crappier:
    I'm sure that I would be more depressed if I wasn't happier.



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