Too $hort Rap Like Me Lyrics

Short Dog’s in the House Track Listing
CD 1
  • 1 $hort Dog’s in the House
  • 2 It’s Your Life
  • 3 The Ghetto
  • 4 Short but Funky
  • 5 In the Oaktown
  • 6 Dead or Alive
  • 7 Punk Bitch
  • 8 Ain’t Nothin’ but a Word to Me
  • 9 Hard on the Boulevard
  • 10 Pimpology
  • 11 Paula & Janet
  • 12 Rap Like Me
  • 13 The Ghetto (reprise)
  • Too $hort, MC

    Rap like me, you'll go straight to the top
    Keep doing what you're doing and you're sure to get dropped
    Like a trick, nothing's even up my sleeve
    A million albums sold and it's hard to believe
    Well it's true homeboy, it's not a lie
    I used to sell tapes on Sunnyside
    I used to catch the 40 bus around the way
    Me and Fred Benz, slanging tapes
    All these things, that we did
    Grab the microphone and start screaming "Bitch!"
    You fronting MC, I hate to cap
    You make hit records and you still can't rap
    I said it before, I'll say it again
    You don't belive me, ask your fans
    When I walked into Cali, the place was packed
    Sir Too $hort "Don't stop that rap"
    I keep rapping my rhymes, all the time
    You got no rhymes, so you listen to mine
    I'm not starting a fight, just telling it right
    The best damn rapper who ever grabbed the mic
    His name is Too $hort, now shut your mouth
    In '81 I was rocking the house
    I'm a hustler, baby, coming up
    I hustle every day and I don't sell drugs
    I don't run no gangs, don't shoot no dice
    Gave the same damn speech to the Oakland vice
    But if you keep pushing, just like you
    When they see me on the strip, coming through
    I break it down so vicious it'll break your back
    With the beat so loud playing Too $hort raps
    That's it, I'm set
    No need to talk that bullshit
    I need a, Oaktown, big time sound
    Just enough beat to get on down
    So, you other rappers listen to mine
    You wouldn't catch Short Dog rapping nursery rhymes
    Call my rap trash, jam the junk
    Put a sticker on the cover: "X-Rated Funk"
    It's just me, you say I won't go far
    But I won't stop rapping cause I rap so hard
    >From here to New York, back to California
    I bumped your girlfriend, don't say I didn't warn ya
    All this time you said she's your ho
    You really shouldn't give baby all that dough
    She gave it all to me cause I fuck so good
    I practice on the girls in my neighborhood
    Cause when I'm freaky I rap, I spit a rap to a freak
    I rarely ever think about a sucker MC
    I go platinum, it's just like slapping 'em, bitch
    Short Dog in the house, starting some shit
    MC's rock and MC's roll
    But the albums they make never go gold
    When I was young, I knew I'd be one of the best
    Every time I made a song it came out so fresh
    I was the king of the Oaktown, spitting my game
    10 years later, ain't nothing changed
    Still the Boss of the Bay, and I know what they say
    They call me "Godfather" and they call you "Gay"
    Bitch! It's 1990
    Your girlfriend's out there trying to find me
    She heard about me, I fucked her best friend
    I guess she wants to see if I can do it again
    You want to be like me, so damn bad
    The impossible dream all you MC's had
    If you could rap like me, you wouldn't have the dream
    Start rapping quit flapping like a chicken wing
    If could rap like me, they say you're so great
    But when they talk about you, they say you're so fake
    And as the days go by, you can't forget
    The way I make you feel like shit
    MC's like you, I've seen 'em before
    You keep on saying "Fuck Too $hort"
    But I'm a better MC than you
    And ain't a damn thing you can do, but bitch
    On the TV screen, in the magazines
    When they interview you, you just make up things
    You're on an ego trip and you're fronting like you're down
    You're not the first real rapper from the Oakland town
    You're just a new jack, and you can't even rap
    You wanna trip? Trip on that
    I'm like MC Lyte, checking hoes tonight
    If you're not a real rapper, get off the mic
    Cause with a fake MC, a song's never complete
    You'd better learn to rap like me

    "Thought you want to be like Too $hort" (Scratched 2x)

    Whenever I rap, you call it noise
    I'm tearing up shit up like the Acorn Boys
    On 10th street, I got a big freak
    Until you learn to speak, realize you're weak
    Cause it's the Oaktown, and they all get down
    To the rhythm of the Too $hort funky sound
    It goes boom, baseline's on ya
    Dangerous Crew from Oakland, California
    Bitch don't front cause Short Dog is hard
    If you answer my rap, I tear your ass apart
    Just liket this, it lasts forever
    You make a song and I make one better
    You say I cuss, I say you're fake
    Your eyes pop open like paper plates
    You fronting MC, I hate to cap
    I make hit records with the vicious raps
    I said it before, I'll say it again
    The boy ain't nothing but one of my fans
    Like silicon titties, can you feel 'em?
    How can a fake rapper fuck with a real one?
    Shit, I'm that rapping man
    I like you like the Klu Klux Klan
    Motherfucker want to front on me?
    My posse got a real MC, Too $hort
    And it don't stop, and it don't stop, and it won't stop
    Cause I'm Too $hort baby on the microphone and I'm macking, bitch

    "Thought you want to be like Too $hort" (Scratched 4x)

    Now back to the subject, my boy MC
    Whatever you say, you can't rap like me
    Rappers like me make real hits
    Rappers like you talk bullshit
    I told my boys there's a new Funky Drummer in town
    You're trying to be like James Brown
    If I couldn't be me, who would I be?
    I damn sure wouldn't be a sucker MC
    Cause I'm not like you, my game is true
    I pimped these hoes and I pimped you, too
    Cause I'm boss, and boss makes the rules
    You disobey and you be a fool (Now listen)
    One, remember how it all began
    Don't guess, the answer is "Oakland"
    Two, you'd better learn to rap like me
    Or you like to be a fake MC
    Three, never talk down on a player
    I wouldn't care if you was Fred Astaire
    Last but not least, number four:
    Don't ever fuck with Too $hort, bitch

    "Thought you want to be like Too $hort" (Scratched 2x)

    Written by: Todd Anthony Shaw
    Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

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