Digital Underground Packet Man Lyrics

Sex Packets Track Listing
CD 1
  • 1 The Humpty Dance
  • 2 The Way We Swing
  • 3 Rhymin’ on the Funk
  • 4 The New Jazz (One)
  • 5 Underwater Rimes (remix)
  • 6 Gutfest ’89 (edit)
  • 7 The Danger Zone
  • 8 Freaks of the Industry
  • 9 Doowutchyalike
  • 10 Packet Prelude
  • 11 Sex Packets
  • 12 Street Scene
  • 13 Packet Man
  • 14 Packet Reprise
  • Excuse me trooper, will you be needing any packets
    Today? Yo, be , don't be throwin' on my jacket, ok?
    Cool, just trying to get your attention
    So you can take a look at this invention

    Now peep these, I got some more in my jacket
    [Man, what are these, condoms?] Uh uh: sex packets
    It's like a pill, you can either chew it up
    Or like an alka-seltzer, dissolve it in a cup

    And get this: see the girl on the cover?
    You black out, and she becomes your lover
    [You're trippin] no, I'm serious, these are authentic
    [Yeah, well I don't take hallucenogenics]

    Wrong again, my man, this is way more real
    But since you know everything, I'll make someone else a deal

    Yeah he's the packet man
    Yeah he's the packet man
    Yeah he's the packet man
    Yeah he's the packet man

    [Well now you got me curious, I'm kind thinkin bout buyin it]
    Three for ten dollars, it can't hurt to try it
    [Well what exactly do I get?]
    Well read what it says, look at the picture [Bet

    It says Chinese girl, age 17, waist 24, hips 33,
    Hmmm, this one here says young black virgin
    Man this is crazy, I'm gonna have to splure an
    Get me a few of these things. How long do they last?]

    Well it depends, let's see
    These cheap ones here are ten minutes
    But these are extra power, they last about a half an hour
    And these here sell for bout 40

    'Cause you get two girls [Yeah it says orgy]
    Right, and if you're married, it's no big deal
    You're not cheating at all, you're just poppin a pill
    And if your wife's got a headache and wants to hit the sack

    It's cool, take a packet fool
    Biochemically compacted sexual affection
    Now here, take a look at my selection

    Yeah he's the packet man
    Yeah he's the packet man
    Yeah he's the packet man
    Yeah he's the packet man

    [OK, I want these two boxes of three
    And give my blondy here, and that one that says orgy
    And, by the way, I need something for my woman]
    Sure, I got guy packets [Cool, give me some of em]

    Now let me tell you how to take it:
    Either sit of lie down, and you really should be naked
    Otherwise you're gonna mess up your clothes, know what I mean?
    This is more then just a dream

    It's very realistic and it's gonna blow your mind
    So be careful: only take one at a time
    And never take one behind the wheel
    You'll black out and hit a pole [Cool, let's make the deal]

    These are 40, these are 80, and this one here is 10
    Just give me a hundred dollars, I'll call it even
    But don't pull your money out yet, see
    There's one or two narcs in this area that sweat me

    Over here, [Yeah, this looks kinda cool
    20, 40, 60, 80 a hundred, shmoove]
    Here's my number, in case you need to reach me again
    And remember, you need to be as safe as you can

    There's only one thing safer then using your hand
    Dial that beeper number, and call the packet man

    Yeah he's the packet man
    Yeah he's the packet man
    Yeah he's the packet man
    Yeah he's the packet man

    Written by: Gregory E. Jacobs, Thomas Washington, William Earl Collins, Glen La Monte Goins, George Jr. Clinton
    Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

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