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Stephen Lynch Ugly Baby Lyrics

Last updated: 02/16/2011 11:00:00 AM

This is for my little girl, wherever she may be tonight.
You think I’d fuckin know where my daughter was tonight, it’s a brand new song I gotta work with these intros a little bit.
Alright here we go.

My lady gives birth today,
I run to her room right away.
She smiles with glee,
Then hands her to me.
I look at my newborn and say
Damn that’s a ugly baby!
Damn that’s a ugly ass baby!

Im feeling quite concerned,
My semen must have turned
Cause damn that’s an ugly baby!

This is just what I feared.
Her head is misshapen and weird
She’s skinny like a twig,
At least her nuts are big.
But her hair color doesn’t match her beard.
Damn that’s a ugly baby!
God damn that’s an ugly ass baby!

I give the doc a smackin’ say,
Can’t ya stuff her back in?
Cause damn that’s a ugly mow mow

And when she smiles I find,
Shane McGowan comes to mind.
It makes me want to cry,
When I look into her good eye.
I always wanted kids.
Is it wrong to hope for SIDS?

Fuck you its my fuckin’ baby!

Then the doctor calls me in.
Mr. Lynch, she has a twin

Damn thats a good lookin’ baby
1 for 2! On the good lookin’ babies
I almost start to weep,
Now this one we can keep.
Cause that was an ugly ass baby.
*Mark Teich*

damn that’s an ugly ass baby

-Ladys and gentlemen, Mark Teich!

Damn that’s a ugly baby…..

Come on everybody now sing along!

Jus the guys now, damn that’s a ugly baby

Jus the ladies, damn that’s a ugly baby

Jus the people who were ugly babies, dam…

Yeah motha fuckers I got ya!

Yeah well she’s got one good tooth and one ear and one eye,
And thank god just one nose but its on her left thigh
The thought of changing her diaper each day,
Or powdering her ass with that tail in the way,
I think I could get a good price on eBay.
Oh no... I just made that up.. Not me!...

I don’t want no ugly baby
I said damn that’s a ugly baby
Damn that’s a ugly baby! *ad nauseum*