When You're Evil Lyrics - Voltaire

Review The Song (77)

When the Devil is too busy
And Death's a bit too much
They call on me by name you see
For my special touch
To the gentlemen I'm Miss Fortune
To the ladies, I'm Sir Prize
But call me by any name
Any way it's all the same

I'm the fly in your soup
I'm the pebble in your shoe
I'm the pea beneath your bed
I'm a bump on every head
I'm the peel on which you slip
I'm a pin in every hip
I'm the thorn in your side
Makes you wriggle and writhe

And it's so easy when you're evil
This is the life, you see
The Devil tips his hat to me
I do it all because I'm evil
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need

While there's children to make sad
While there's candy to be had
While there's pockets left to pick
While there's grannies left to trip down the stairs
I'll be there, I'll be waitin' round the corner
It's a game, I'm glad I'm in it
'Cause there's one born every minute

And it's so easy when you're evil
This is the life, you see
The Devil tips his hat to me
I do it all because I'm evil
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need

I pledge my allegiance to all things dark
And I promise on my damned soul
To do as I am told, Lord Beelzebub
Has never seen a soldier quite like me
Not only does his job, but does it happily

I'm the fear that keeps you waked
I'm the shadows on the wall
I'm the monsters they become
I'm the nightmare in your skull
I'm a dagger in your back
And extra turn upon the rack
I'm the quivering of your heart
A stabbing pain, a sudden start

And it's so easy when you're evil
This is the life, you see
The Devil tips his hat to me
I do it all because I'm evil
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need

And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need

It gets so lonely being evil
What I'd do to see a smile
Even for a little while

And no-one loves you when you're evil...
I'm lying through my teeth!
Your tears are all the company I need!

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Thanks to G-Rod for submitting When You're Evil Lyrics.
I'm Evil | Reviewer: The Devil's 10 Year Old Daughter | 3/16/14

I love this song! Oh, how I wish my parents would let me go Goth! Either way, this song kicks butt! And for anyone who doesn't know, Lord Beelzebub is the Devil (go Devil!). When you're evil... * flashes creepy smile that shows insane evilness*

Awesome song | Reviewer: The Devil Herself | 8/9/13

Its nothing to do with the princess and the pea, its just voltaire singing about bad luck and how the pea was a pain in the ass for the princess. I totally love all of voltaires songs so much, he's so inspiring for artists because he sings a bit of everything, from ballads, to flamenco to more serious songs. And he has pointy ears. Take that.

pea beneath your bed | Reviewer: Anonymous | 4/20/13

this is from the story of the princess and the pea about a girl that was so spoiled and pampered she couldn't sleep on her bed of 10 mattresses because of a pea that had been placed under the bottom one - the last line of the verse explains the purpose to make you wriggle and writhe - to make you uncomfortable

Great | Reviewer: Meeee!!!! | 4/5/13

Am I sadistic if I see my face in evry part of the song, I get it now becouse I used to hear DEMON in ur bed...which made me wonder as that is rater siver due to the previous and following statement(s); howevery I still don't understand how a pea benith someone's bed is evil, plus on other lyrics it pea benith ur bread-I would just like a quick discription of what it is,not an argument, and why Voltaire has chosen the lyrics I have descused here. Thank you, veeee~

Cool | Reviewer: You will never know | 3/4/13

I love this song
Before I knew the exact lyrics, I thought
* I'm the pea beneath your bed*
* I'm the demon beneath your bed*
Because that was the way I heard it.
I think how I heard it makes more since
But otherwise, great song

Mosy Awesome Song Ever | Reviewer: Mangagirl | 9/22/12

I find this to be the most amazing song ever i play it over and over in my head and I love all the lyrics to it. It's very catchy and amkes evevryone who hears it want to be evil in a funny way. :D

Voltaire, The Best at being the Greatest | Reviewer: TimToborne | 9/13/12

Voltaire is a truly amazing artist, and i love his songs, i take no deep meaning, as im Morman/Christian not a satanist, he's just the best at making songs that reflect my understanding of the majority of the human race, yes, i belive most of humanity is terrible. but, you are all fuss over a simple song, keep any hating comments to yourself, ignore all peoples posts, and realize that Voltaire is the best at being the greatest.
Yeah,i made a lond post, u mad bro?

Amazing | Reviewer: Anonymous | 4/19/12

This is a great song, it's funny and also a complete and utter LIE to all you people who think that these lyrics are true don't be so stupid-I mean taking sweets from children might be done but tripping old people down the stairs would be classed as ASSAULT which is illegal-he based the song on cliches and normal villain behaviour in FICTION. That out of the way the song is brilliant and funny as well as being catchy. So is it relevant? you do not have to be deranged to understand this song, you have to not be deranged because if a deranged person listened to this they would probably start doing all those things-if you just put that comment to pretend to be cool (which you probably did)it didn't work.

Excellent | Reviewer: H.R. | 2/9/12

Love the song so much. It's dark, catchy, and intelligent. While it seems to be encouraging evil it also depicts evil as being so petty, it can't even spare a child's candy. Not safe, mind you ("an extra turn upon the rack"), but petty.
Certain members of the mainstream clergy *cough* really enjoy the joke.
The rhythm and rhyme scheme is also impressive.

YYYAAAYYY | Reviewer: Anonymous | 12/1/11

Voltaire is the best songwriter ever, for his songs are awesome, im no satanist, but, hell, best song ever, keep on going voltaire, you'll beat all the competition (not like you have competition anyway)just be awesome voltaire, be awesome all the time.

Satan fears me. | Reviewer: Anonymous | 10/8/11

Love this song. My biddoes and I "tip hats" to each other when we pass. We'll occasionally sing it in public. And it's badass. Sure, it's a little cliche, but he is the source of all your suffering. I always start singing this whenever someone gets pissed at me. You can complain about the song if you like, but refer to the lyrics above to see what I won't do to you.

eehhh | Reviewer: Mark | 9/12/11

In my own opinion, VOLTAIRE IS AMAZING!!!! now im not a satanist or atheist, i am a devoted christian how ever i do have my evil tendencies and Voltaire is the number one person i look to for the guidence on that haha, how ever i have seen his interviews and biography and i have to disagree with people saying her is actually evil or anything like that, he is a very nice guy so he is a good role model out side of his form, in my own opinion, that being said like it has been state so many times before i will be singing this song everywhere because it is stuck eternally in my head

It's a good song! | Reviewer: Anonymous | 8/6/11

No matter what people say, I love Voltaire and its works, and I'm not a Satanist. The songs are really good if you're trying to get yourself into an edgy badass mindframe. For example, if you're writing a book, or acting as a villian, you would want to have these on your MP3. And Voltaire is just fun to listen to.

A Hint of Irony | Reviewer: Llealynarisia | 8/6/11

"Quite a shallow song"

I'd have to disagree with you there. Listening to the overall tone of the song, such as the quick rhythm of the background music and the rather upbeat way he sings it, suggests more to me that he is poking fun at the various villain cliches than actually playing anything straight.

For example, in the third stanza:
"While there's children to make sad
While there's candy to be had
while there's pockets left to pick
While there's grannies left to trip down the stairs"
These are all things overly-cliche stereotypical villains would do in their spare time when they're not planning city/country/world domination or getting their butts handed to them by the heroes.

With that said, I know I'm going to have a hard time not randomly starting to sing this in public when I get the words memorized. It's too darn catchy. XD

Quite a shallow song | Reviewer: Anonymous | 3/1/11

I have to admit that the idea of the cult of evil has become overrated. All the things that have been said in this song are being repeated over and over again. The idea of playfulness, the same metaphors used thousands and thousands of times. It is a copy of so many works done since the 19th century ... Baudelaire and his Flowers of Evil are more interesting in the genre ...

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------ Performed by Voltaire

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------ 11/22/2014

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