Toronto Sucks Lyrics - The Arrogant Worms
Review The Song (17)
I hate the Skydome and the CN Tower too
I hate Nathan Phillips Square and the Ontario Zoo
The rents too high, the air's unclean
The beaches are dirty and the people are mean
And the women are big and the men are dumb
And the children are loopy 'cause they live in a slum
The water is polluted and the mayor's a dork
They dress real bad and they think they're New York
In Toronto, Ontario
"You know, actually I think I hate all of Ontario"
I hate Thunder Bay and Ottawa
Kitchener, Windsor, and Oshawa
London sucks and the Great Lakes suck
And Sarnia sucks and Turkey Point Sucks
I took a trip to Ontario to visit Brian Mulrooney
He beat me up and he stole my pants and he put me in a tree
I went to see the Maple Leafs and got hit in the head with a puck
"I don't even know how they did it, I was playing the organ at the time!"
Ontario Sucks
"Yup, actually, now that I really think about it, I think I pretty much hate every gosh darn province and territory in our country! Except Alberta. Oh yeah I love Alberta, yeah it's really nice, lots of cows, trees, rocks, dirt. Moo moo moo"
But,
I hate Newfoundland 'cause they talk so weird
And Prince Edward Island is too small
Nova Scotia's dumb 'cause its the name of a bank
New Brunswick doesn't have a good mall
Quebec is revolting and it makes me mad
Ontario sucks, Ontario sucks
"Manitoba's population density is 1.9 people per square kilometer. Isn't that stupid!?"
Saskatchewan is boring and the people are old
And as for the territories, they're too cold!
"And the only really good thing about the province of British Columbia is that it's right next to us!"
'Cause Alberta doesn't suck
But Calgary does
I hate Nathan Phillips Square and the Ontario Zoo
The rents too high, the air's unclean
The beaches are dirty and the people are mean
And the women are big and the men are dumb
And the children are loopy 'cause they live in a slum
The water is polluted and the mayor's a dork
They dress real bad and they think they're New York
In Toronto, Ontario
"You know, actually I think I hate all of Ontario"
I hate Thunder Bay and Ottawa
Kitchener, Windsor, and Oshawa
London sucks and the Great Lakes suck
And Sarnia sucks and Turkey Point Sucks
I took a trip to Ontario to visit Brian Mulrooney
He beat me up and he stole my pants and he put me in a tree
I went to see the Maple Leafs and got hit in the head with a puck
"I don't even know how they did it, I was playing the organ at the time!"
Ontario Sucks
"Yup, actually, now that I really think about it, I think I pretty much hate every gosh darn province and territory in our country! Except Alberta. Oh yeah I love Alberta, yeah it's really nice, lots of cows, trees, rocks, dirt. Moo moo moo"
But,
I hate Newfoundland 'cause they talk so weird
And Prince Edward Island is too small
Nova Scotia's dumb 'cause its the name of a bank
New Brunswick doesn't have a good mall
Quebec is revolting and it makes me mad
Ontario sucks, Ontario sucks
"Manitoba's population density is 1.9 people per square kilometer. Isn't that stupid!?"
Saskatchewan is boring and the people are old
And as for the territories, they're too cold!
"And the only really good thing about the province of British Columbia is that it's right next to us!"
'Cause Alberta doesn't suck
But Calgary does
Please Click here to submit the Corrections of Toronto Sucks Lyrics
Please Click Here to Print Toronto Sucks Lyrics
Thanks to Crash8668@hotmail.com for submitting Toronto Sucks Lyrics.
Deep Breaths Weirdos | Reviewer: Anonymous | 3/7/12
So. . Dear everyone. You are all aware that the 3 wonderful men who wrote this song are all from Ontario right?? So stop with the "Albertans wrote this blah blah I'm a little bitch" and kindly remove whatever is shoved firmly up your ass.
Chiiiiiiiiiiiill... | Reviewer: Naeryn | 6/8/10
Hey, "Annonomys". Russell Peters is south Asian, not middle Eastern. He's East Indian.
Also, wow, everyone needs to chill. It's a funny song that mocks stereotypes. Hell, one of Edmonton's stereotypes is that they think everyone sucks but them!
But maybe it's just 'cause I'm from BC, and the one good thing we've got going for us that this song didn't mention is POT.
So I'm just too stoned to care if they actually hate Ontario or not.
To ''Reviewer: Anonymous ... (To the Newfie.... )'' | Reviewer: Newfie Sailor | 11/5/09
Funny song, Bad comments, Newfoundlanders always get shit on in these situations so I have to comment If u think that Alberta is booming then your sadly mistaken, I’ve never been out west but I have been to Toronto a couple of times (Once while flying home from New York love your Landing Strip club hahaha!!!!), not a fan, but that’s more because I like the great outdoors. but getting to the point, Its true that most of our newfs work seasonally in Alberta, I actually have many friends who live there and have become rather successful. But comrade Alberta is slowly dieing, and well with the oil off our shores (I work on a tanker so don’t fuck with my facts) your going to see quite the rise in our economy, thus your dream will come true and newfie’s will stay home and earn a living like my self … but before you get two excited don’t forget who’s keeping your province going in the labor force, cause I I’m kinda thinking it would take 4 healthy Albertans to do the work of a chain smoking borderline alcoholic newfie, hope u get to read this before your back to living in huts … HAHAHA BURNED like your useless tar sands!!
To the Newfie.... | Reviewer: Anonymous | 8/1/09
To the Newfoundlander - if you can't take a joke - its probably because you're sober. We don't need you because you're good workers - we just need more people to support our booming industry and economy (you know, the one that pays your bills?). I had no opinions on your people before I started meeting and having to listen to enough of them. If you're too stupid to realize that - why don't you go back ? Oh yeah, you really don't have anything to go back to. Go home if you want to trash Alberta - we are all sick of listening to and supporting you pack of freeloaders anyway. In every relationship there's always a host which is Alberta and the parasite - the Newfoundlander. AGAIN, GO HOME ALREADY !! (Oh yeah, you can't...no money) lol !!
Learn to Laugh | Reviewer: Annonomys | 4/12/09
Some people take life a little too seriously, and I agree with Tae, it's COMEDY... I toured with a band, and spent a lot of time in Ontario, have a lot of great friends from Ontario, I also find this song funny, because it's comedy... it takes on stereotype and plays on it...
Russell Peters is Middle Eastern and makes fun of People from the middle east - I have a lot of friends from that background who find Russell Peters hilarious - and guess what, he makes fun of white people too - I'm white, and Russell Peters is still Hilarious, Dane Cook makes fun of people, Bryan Reagan makes fun of people, hell serious actors go on shows like Saturday night live and make fun of themselves... It's comedy... take a chill pill, lower your blood pressure before you have a coronary, and learn to laugh
What is up with everyone hating on Ontario | Reviewer: Carrie | 3/24/09
I have never realized how much Alberta is jealous of Ontario. I have lived in both Calgary and Toronto and have found the people lovely in both places. I do find the people in Calgary have an obsession with Ontario thought which I find quite strange.
toronto does suck | Reviewer: proud to be? | 3/15/09
you hit it on the head about toronto ,what a demented bunch of retards, obbsessed with racism,arrogant assholes, fart huffing eletists ,racist immigrants,i lived there 10 years and thank god i left .mocking buch of cocksuckers. man i could go on and on about the incidents with toronto assholes .when you go there ,be rude to everyone ,treat them like shit ,its the only way they respect you .if you are friendly to them they will laugh in your face , they think friendliness or kindness is a weakness ,twisted backward toronto fuckheads .now i just laugh at all the shootings ,looks good on them.they should separate from canada instead of quebec.
Seriously | Reviewer: Tae | 1/28/09
I think everyone should just calm down about this song... its called comedy. Comedy makes fun of a variety of things, and its all in fun. If you've never learned to laugh at yourself, you can't laugh at others. If you've ever watched comedians they always make other people laugh because of their own viewpoints on a subject... that is what this song is doing! Just relax everyone, and be proud that you're Canadian!! *woo*
Asshole Albertan. | Reviewer: Anonymous | 1/8/09
I'm a Newfoundlander and obviously the person who wrote this is a fucking asshole Albertan. In your song it says you hate Newfoundlanders because of the way we speak you obviously had nothing bad to say other than that. You're just fucking jealous because we came to Alberta and took all your fucking work and you know how good and hard workers we are. So from me to you, go fuck yourself, you know nothing about Newfoundland. You wish you were a quarter as good as a Newfoundlander.
PS The way Albertans speak would turn someone's guts. At least after every fucking sentence we don't say 'eh' and sound like hillbillys. So you can go fuck yourself once again. By the way, as much as I hate Albertans, I'm a bigger and better person and wouldn't write a song like that about you.
On the dot | Reviewer: Ben | 2/3/08
Yes, there is an attitude in the city but the boiling point has reached an soon the arrogance will simmer away. The main ingredient is immigration, which has brought diversity, talent and a pool of greatness to choose from other than angry white trash. Viva the new Ontario!!!
I like it man | Reviewer: mee | 1/22/08
I like this song, although it might have something to do with the fact that im from alberta, and not from calgary. and incase any one hasn't noticed, when they say that alberta doesn't suck and calgary does, they also mean that edmonton, medicine hat, lethbridge, lloydminster, red deer, edson, etc. don't suck either, not just edmonton! <3
harde har har | Reviewer: Winnipeger | 12/10/07
this song was funny, they made fun of everyone, except edmonton (thought thats ok, cuz edmonton sucks anyway). if you can't handle getting jabbed a little, then you suck, just like t.o.
Absolutely Ridiculous | Reviewer: Everyone's Jealous of Toronto | 12/2/07
This song is really horrible. I have a sense of humour and the fact that this song is crap has nothing to do with the fact that I'm from Toronto... It just sounds like a five year old wrote it!
Totally Agree | Reviewer: Lara | 8/14/07
I am born and raised in Southern California, and had to endure 2 years living in Toronto. This is definitley my theme song.
awesome | Reviewer: amy | 6/20/07
lol thats totally awesome lol guess were i live calgary very nice
Reviews By Pages: 1 2
The following area is only for review, if you want to submit the lyrics or the corrections of the lyrics, please click the link at the end of Toronto Sucks Lyrics.