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Of Montreal The Events Leading Up to the Collapse of Detective Dulllight Lyrics

Last updated: 02/24/2007 10:00:00 AM


There was jello in the fingerprints Detective Dulllight discovered. It proved to
be the most important finding in the case And where as Detectives Slocks and
Slovits slobbered over smutty photographs Dulllight had a better lead to follow.
He followed the ringing to the telephone where a voice asked "Excuse me aren't
you so and so?" "Oh so and so since you left I have been eating only sweets
cause they remind me of you." He felt this surely was a clue. So he climbed into
the tub wearing his underwear and overcoat, jumped aboard the model boat and
followed the water down the drain. In his brain there are file cabinets and
secretaries filing their nails downstairs (But I don't want to talk about that
room downstairs). At this moment Detective Slocks and Slovets realize that since
they had reported on the crime scene this morning each of them has aged over
fifty years. Two butterflies land on their shoulders and harmonize softly in
their ears "Where did all the time go?" "Did you think that you'd stay young
forever?" "But at least you're still together..." The two detectives held hands
in the moonlight. The butterflies flew away which prompted Slovit's to say,"l
miss them already". Slocks removed a fountain pen from his breast pocket, drove
it deep into Slovit's throat and began screeching "DEATH TO THE PARCHMENT WHALE,
THE ROBOT IAM LASAILE". While in prison, Slocks wrote one of the most revered
exercises in free verse titled "The Cause of Gauze". "Oh the cause of gauze, The
Manuels have fondled many memories from my lap though each memory has its own
lap and swimmers swim laps. Even swimmers have laps however and while in that
condition many require a delicate gauze. I desire only this in my decrepitude,
that I will have one more opportunity to serve as a gauze to my fellow man and
that in that state of gauze can somehow disturb the world less often with my
prickly fingers." When Detective Dulllight returning from the catacombs first
heard the news of the Slocks and Slovets stabbing and subsequent poetry
enterprise he immediately fell to the floor and began plucking peaches from his
cheeks. This eventually became a tiresome activity so he evaporated into the
cream a float a child's bedtime coco.





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