The Aquabats Biography
Last updated: 07/08/2011 11:00:00 AM
Seven (almost eight) years ago, eight (almost nine) men emerged from a mossy log tomb that washed ashore on a sandy beach somewhere in southern Orange County, California. Heat, moisture and extreme pressure mutated these men into the most dazzling human-sized punishers the of evil-doers the world had never known. Not satisfied with simply taking a bite out of crime, these men decided to eat the whole apple and take on that juggernaut of injustice ? The Music Industry. Using the time-tested "Trojan Horse" tactic, these true geniuses armed themselves with guns and guitars and started a rock n? roll band. They called themselves THE AQUABATS!
Ok, well, it seemed like a good idea at the time?
Within minutes, songs were written! Then, a few weeks later they played at some?parties! Some said, "Cool." Others said "What the @#$%?!?" But one thing was for sure ? They were on their way to the top. And when they got there, they were going to kick some butts.
The Aquabats pounded out rhythms at mind-blistering speeds, as they tore through songs! Surf guitar leads cascaded over "chainsaw-like" guitar riffs while new wave synthesizers dueled with fiesta horn lines that could even make Herb Alpert cry. Meanwhile, The frontman also known as The M.C. Bat Commander, would win crowd over by crooning over the chaos, then backflipping into action when vile villains would try and stop the show. Less like a live performance, and more like a circus bomb, they ripped through sets! They smashed their equipment! They threw stuff! Wild audiences everywhere threw stuff back! The plan was working.
Realizing the potential of this potent musical formula, The Aquabats knew they needed to record their sound and drop it on wax like science. So they did just that. 1995 saw the debut album "The Return of The Aquabats." Self-financed, self-produced, and self-released, this 10-track opus broke the proverbial pi?ata of promise wide open!
They caught the eye of many big name record labels, but they knew that in order to lock horns with Corporate America, they had to start at the bottom. So they signed with local concert promoting machine, Goldenvoice to be the first band on their new experimental recording company.
The world was not prepared for what happened next. In late 1997, "The Fury of The Aquabats" attacked the record shops and radio airwaves, with such reckless abandon, no one could keep up. Not even The Aquabats. With the smash hit single, "Super Rad" in heavy rotation onlocal world-famous radio station, WKRP, they knew they needed to take the show on the road.
So, they looked to fellow superheroes, the wonder women of booking agents at Leave Home Booking, and soon found themselves in musical showdowns, across the country, opening for bands such as Primus, NOFX, David Bowie, Rancid, Sugar Ray, Green Day, Sublime, The Foo Fighters, Blink-182, Run DMC, and many more. It?s not even funny, homeboy!
Over time, a fiercely loyal fanbase only known as the aquacadets hurled The Aquabats into a headlining spots on their own tours! Nations would crumble, buildings would shake, for the Aquabats and their new legion of homeys could now stand together as one army, united in their ultimate goal of breaking down the walls of injustice, and bringing joy to children everywhere.
But just as there must be opposition in all things, The Aquabats must constantly fight against those who would seek their demise. Fiends and foes, villains and vagrants far and wide constantly hurl obstacles and roadblocks at our heroes and their homeys, the kids!
Now, with a few more years and a few more albums under their belts, this pebble in the shoe of all that is "cool" is ready for the final onslaught. Who will win? Who will survive? Will The Aquabats be able to overcome the fierce opposition? Will the enemy stand victorious upon the corpses of freaks and geeks the world over? Well, wipe that smug grin off your face, punk. You're about to learn a new meaning of the word fear. THE AQUABATS!
Thanks to Enriquefirstname.lastname@example.org for submitting the biography.