I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks Lyrics - Bloodhound Gang

Review The Song (3)



If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter
My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class
Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass
I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too
Wanna see how many push-ups I can do?
I just wish I was queer so I could get
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be
Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony
Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity
But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry
Scoring with a super model would be easy
Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but is also is synonomous with 'super dumb'
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Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd become
That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair
No it wouldn't take a week before I'm in her underwear
I wish I was queer so I could get
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes
The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean
See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline
No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen
I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks

Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis
Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp he talks like this
And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway
And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet
I wish I was queer so I could get
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
And I don't shave my heiny
Don't shave my heiny
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

And I don't shave my heiny
Don't shave my heiny
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

And I don't shave my heiny
Don't shave my heiny
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly






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Thanks to sajmonides@usa.com for submitting I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks Lyrics.
I don't shave my heiny | Reviewer: Anonymous | 5/21/2007

Girls (in general) love gay guys. It's a sad fact. They drive me nuts trying to make me straight. There's only so many times I can say the three simple words "I am gay" before they want me parking the beef bus just south of dairy town. Girls need to catch on that we've escaped the animal instinct of procreation and have found a better place to park it. It's like parking in the handy-cap zone; People might look at ya funny, and it's kinda taboo, but it's a damn shot more convenient, and ya don't get stuck carrying dead weight too far.

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Not always true. | Reviewer: Alanna | 4/26/2006

This song is hilarious, but NOT ALWAYS true. No one I know likes queers. The songs good though.

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this song reflekts me and your self | Reviewer: Jimmy Brett | 5/6/2005

This is a song i would rekomend to sum1 hoo hasn't heard the bloodhound gang before. The song is katchy and I fink appeals to everyday people like me and you. We all want chicks in our life and its a fakt that chicks dig gays guys but gay guys dont dig chicks so thats one more chick we kant have. The song expresses views that we dont dare to it makes us sound needy but the legend himself Jimmy Pop found a way to express these views with out embarrassing himself we kan only respekt Jimmy Pop his lyriks are what we are all finking and thank you Jimmy Pop akting queer helps people who kant get chicks that is why this song is so awesome.

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------ Performed by Bloodhound Gang

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------ 07/23/2014

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