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Weird Al Yankovic Couch Potato Lyrics

Last updated: 07/02/2011 11:00:00 AM

If you had
One shot
To sit on your lazy butt
And watch all the TV you ever wanted
Until your brain turned to mush
Would you go for it?
Or just let it slip?

Remote is ready
Eyes wide, palms are sweaty
There's Flintstones on the TV already
Wilma 'n' Betty
No virgin to channel surfin'
And I'm HD-ready
So I flip
Garbage is all I'm getting

There's Simon Cowell
Who folks wanna disembowel
He opens his mouth
Always says something foul
They're dyin', wow
Wannabes are crying now
He votes them out
Time to throw in the towel

Shows based on reality
Oh, the humanity!
Oh, Ozzy's family
Sho' loves profanity
Whoa, the insanity
Oh, dogs that crap and pee
Home of depravity?
No, they live happily

Plus "Da Ali G Show"
And "Celebrity Mole"
Oh, and there's Anna Nicole
Well, she's scaring me

"Look ma, no cavities"
Oh, it's a station break
Better go out to the kitchen and microwave something

"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV" They told me, they'd scold me
But I'd still tune in every show (show)
My cable gets C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The Travel Channel, Discovery, and Lifetime (yo)

"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV" They told me, cajoled me, "Turn off those music videos" (no)
I'm gonna watch C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The History Channel and QVC and Lifetime (yo)
(You're gonna)

My butt is aching
As I watch NASCAR racing
That show about undertaking
Larry King
To "24" to "Law And Order"
The Weather Channel's boring like "60 Minutes"'s ancient reporters
Next up on "E! True Hollywood Story"
The rise and decline of twelve actors named Corey

Shows for next fall, they've already been namin'
"CSI: Boise" and "Touched By An Uncle" both sound pretty lame 'n'
So does "Everybody Tolerates Raymond"
And "King of Queens" jumped the shark the first minute
I can't believe Richard Simmons ain't in it

I'll move right on to "8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenaged Daughter"
Then I bet
I watch "The Bachelorette"
Followed by "Welcome Back, Kotter"
And "The Muppet Show" where they go 'Mahna Mahna'

"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"
They told me, they'd scold me
But I'd still tune in every show (show)
My cable gets C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The Disney Channel and A&E and Lifetime (yo)

"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"
They told me, cajoled me
But I still love Lisa Kudrow (drow)
I'm looking at C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The Playboy Channel and Court TV and Lifetime (yo)
(You're Gonna)

Never missed "Melrose Place" or "Lost In Space"
I've seen each "Amazing Race" and "Without A Trace"
But I only watched "Will And Grace" one time one day
Wish I hadn't 'cause TiVo now thinks I'm gay

Oh, and "Fear Factor" I watched maybe a half hour
After that, felt like I needed a long shower
Network execs with naked ambitions
"Next week on FOX, watch lions eat Christians"

Like to tie up those programming planners
Make 'em watch all of that junk 'til their heads explode just like "Scanners"
Leech-covered grub-eatin' fools on "Survivor"
Look there's James Lipton discussing the oeuvre of Mr. Rob Schneider

And there's "Gilligan" and "SpongeBob", plus there's "MacGyver"
And Jay Leno has got Madonna, hey there's Luke Perry on a
Special all Pig-Latin episode of "Drew Carey"

Wanna turn on "E.T." 'cause I'm a gossip freak
And I gotta know who J. Lo is marryin' this week
A 30 second spot
Then we come back to "Are You Hot?"
I was planning on recording "The Sopranos"
I forgot

I love shows with or without a plot
I'll stare 'til my legs are numb, my eyes bloodshot
Cause I only have got
One brain to rot
I'm gonna spend my life watching television a lot

"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"
They told me, they'd scold me
But I'd still tune in every show (show)
My cable gets C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The Sci-Fi Channel and AMC and Lifetime (yo)

"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV" They told me, cajoled me, "Turn off that Oprah Winfrey show" (no)
I got it on C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The Learning Channel and MTV and Lifetime (yo)
(You're gonna)

You can watch anything you want to, man

write a review for this song
(Important: Use a nickname if you don't want your name to be published) Type your review in the space below:

epicated i luv,weird al shud make more eminem parodys | Reviewer: isiboy22 | 5/5/11

like im not afraid but insted "i am afraid" i got sum lyrics 4 chorus "i am afraid (am afraid) im not a man (not a man) i wont even (wont even) touch pans (touch pans) in case they get hot i guese a man is what im not no im a women im scared of beatles im scared of slugs im even the harry potter boooks

Cowboy | Reviewer: Anonymous | 2/19/10

i would say that weird al is a better lyrics writer than eminem, or just about any other writer, simply because he has to fit a lot of his lyrics to someone else's music, where as a typical song writer can change the music to fit what they're writing. ever try writing your own song? it ain't hard. ever try writing a perfect parody like this one or any other weird al classic? it is a lot harder.

weird al | Reviewer: Anonymous | 11/10/07

Did you know?:

1. "Weird" Al spends weeks gathering point-form notes for each of his parodies, listening to the original tune many times in order to be able to recreate its rhythm and phrasing. (that's how they can sound so close to the original)

2. He always makes a point of getting permission from the original artist(s) of the song, and without it, he won't release his song. (A number of people may remember a blip over coolio's "gangsta paradise", but it's a case of miscommunication between media execs and Al, not that he did it intentionally.)

3. Most artists actually appreciate Al's versions of their song; the parody "like a surgeon" of madonna's "Like a Virgin" actually came at the suggesetion of the star herself, and Nirvana's Kurt Cobain said that he didn't know they'd really made it in music until Al's "Smells Like Teen Spirit."

- white&nerdy ;P

Eminem's still better | Reviewer: Mate De Vita | 9/30/07

Weird Al may be good but Eminem's a lot better. So maybe Weird Al copies the song perfectly, but that's just all he does. He copies it and makes it funny. If it wasn't for Eminem's Lose Yourself, then this song wouldn't exist either.

Weird Al rules!

HOLY $H*T XD | Reviewer: Tyler | 9/2/07

I know every single word to lose yourself 8D, and this song copies it PERFECTLY, i think its awesome. Except i get more exited when Eminem comes on. XD

...Damn! | Reviewer: Darius Blackthorne | 8/6/07

If it wasn't for the fact that Couch Potato features Fear Factor in an obvious place, It'd be hard to tell the original from this parody. That says something 'bout how skilled "Weird Al" is. Still gotta give props to Eminem for writing the original though. It's a damn good bit 'o rap with an equally good parody.

EMINEM | Reviewer: ABBY | 7/30/07

Couch Potato is a great song, i love it....but EMINEM is twenty times greater, 100 times greater.

EMINEM RULES. so FUCK all of YOU!!!!


ROFL | Reviewer: Hans | 7/5/07

Robert think for a sec, what does a couch potato do? he sits on his big fat butt and watches TV all day.

hehe I love this song, like no man said Eminen soooo deserved it...

WTF? | Reviewer: Robert | 6/19/07

I dont get it, the song is called couch potato but he never says couch potato even once in the song.

buche | Reviewer: no man | 5/23/07

HAHAHA... eminem deserved it... he has actually worried for his carrer, cuz of this song...