Bill's Laundromat, Bar and Grill Lyrics - Confederate Railroad

Review The Song (1)



Well I was three days short of pullin’ out of Kingsport
I was headed down to Houston town
Had my guitar packed in a burlap sack
For exploitin’ my country sound
I bypassed Jackson, bypassed Memphis
By the time I got to Arkansas
I’d-a sold my car and that black guitar
For anything cool and tall

So I pulled up to a neon sign on highway forty-nine
Shut the engine down, took a look around, then I stepped inside
I asked that bouncer where I was he said “Son, you’re at Bill’s
Honky-tonk pickin’, line dance kickin’, razor back stickin’, barbecue chicken,
Laundromat bar and grill”

Well, I found old Bill sittin’ at the bar
With a pistol and a change machine
He was dolin’ out quarters to a waitress named Starr
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When I asked him if I could sing
He said, “Son go ahead if you brought your guitar”
Then he pointed to the back stage door
He said, “We don't like original material
Unless it’s been done before”

Well I hit the stage like a big mule train
Told the house band to play in “C”
I sang the Tennessee Waltz, Kentucky Rain
And the one about the bird that’s free
The lead guitar was like a chain saw
That fiddle like a power drill
At Bill’s Honky-tonk pickin’, line dance kickin’, razor back stickin’, barbecue chicken,
Laundromat bar and grill

Well in the ten short minutes I was up on stage
Watched a biker punch a cowboy’s face
And with a perfect view I was witness to
The destruction of the whole dang place
It was long neck stems and white fringe hems
Flyin’ out of that dark saloon
And that mechanical bull was reduced in full
To the safest place in the room

When that punch drunk cowboy showed his wife
That his shirt was soaked in beer
She said, “Calm down honey have another Lite
‘Cause we can wash the shirt right here
Then the whole place stopped to thank me for bookin’ my show at Bill's
Honky-tonk pickin’, line dance kickin’, razor back stickin’, barbecue chicken,
Laundromat bar and grill

At Bill's Honky-tonk pickin’, line dance kickin’, razor back stickin’, barbecue chicken,
Laundromat bar and grill






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Thanks to Brent S. for submitting Bill's Laundromat, Bar and Grill Lyrics.
Hilarious! | Reviewer: geekausaurus | 7/20/14

I love this song! I live on funny lyrics - I have severe chronic pain, and it is the secret to controlling the pain - and this one, from the bar's name to the snappy one-liners in it, have me laughing all the way FROM the pill bottle!



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------ Performed by Confederate Railroad

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------ 07/28/2014

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