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UltraLaser Belmonts Are The Best Lyrics

Last updated: 06/25/2007 12:00:00 PM

Darkness falls across the land in sixteen-ninety-one
Rising up in Transylvania, sheltered from the sun
Upon a mountain winding path will lead you to his castle
Shred the way through putrid flesh the zombies are his vassals
Drawbridge drops, an opened door will lead you to the halls
Scent of death arising, stains of blood cover these walls
Hold this whip along my side, the killer of vampires
I must smash this stone for health before my life expires
The candelabra hold the strength
My cross or morning star
I dredge for answers
The end is not too far
Whip crackin', tittie smackin', punch you in the chest
When it comes to killin' shit, the Belmonts are the best
Every hundred years I have more than my dick to beat
Use the rags from mummy-men to wipe up all the skeet

Now is the, time to kill, punk ass bitch named Dracula
Grab his tongue, make him lick, sweat from my ass crackula
Then I find, me a bitch to tug on my nut sackula
Then I'll gently place and grind my dick between her rackula

A crumbled path through fallen rock which holds this ancient tower
Ravens guard their current feast of bodies half devoured
Force my way into the caverns deep beneath the ground
The holder of this blackened heart is waiting to be found
The candelabra hold the strength
My cross or morning star
I dredge for answers
The end is not too far
I stack the Gs and fuck the hoes that make me bust a nut
They'll snort some blow off of my dick right as I fuck some butt
Money grabbin', pork sword stabbin', coochie wall destroyer
Put some whitewash on your fence like I'm fuckin' Tom Sawyer

Dracula meet your doom
Death comes ripping
Frog fucker!
Semen sucker!
Bead magic buttplug!
Makes your mudhole pucker!
Now eat poop and die!

As he drops onto the floor, the epic battle ceases
Cut him into several parts and separate the pieces
I've attained a victory that's swallowed by deceit
Now I must procure my skills until next time we meet