I saw a garage sale
Pulled up in the yard
Found a statue of Jesus
that was eight feet tall
He held out his arms
And he seemed all alone
So I loaded him up
And I drove him home
Out by my driveway he
Looks down the street
long hair and sandals made
Of rebar and concrete
I painted him white with a long purple robe
He's the rock of ages on a gravel road
Chorus
He's an eight-hundred pound Jesus
Standing taller than a tree
He's an eight-hundred pound Jesus
A bigger man than you or me
I thought losing my job was
The end of the world
Til my best pal ran off with my best girl
I felt suicidal with no real friends
So I walked outside with a rope in my hand
Out by that statue there's a big oak tree
So I stood on his shoulders
And I counted to three
I had every intention of buying the farm
But when I jumped off he caught me in his arms
Chorus
I wanted to return the favor to him
Cause I never had a more solid friend
So I planted some flowers
All around his feet
And I bought him a flock
Of ceramic sheep
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