Stop Forwarding That Crap To Me Lyrics - Weird Al Yankovic

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Oh, the sand keeps falling from the hourglass
and there's no way you're gonna slow it down.
You say we gotta treasure each moment,
who knows how long we're gonna be around.
Yeah, you keep on tellin' me life is short,
and it's hard to disagree with what you say.
But if time is so precious why you wastin' mine?
'Cause I'm always reading, always deleting
every useless piece of garbage that you send my way.

Every stupid hoax, all those corny jokes.
Stop forwarding that crap to me.
Well I don't need tons, of cring-inducing puns.
Stop forwarding that crap to me.
No it isn't okay, if you brighten my day.
With some cut and pasted hackneyed hallmark poetry.
And I didn't request a personality test.
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Stop forwarding that crap to me.

You're sending virus-laden bandwith-hogging attachments
to every single person you know.
You're passin' around a link to some dumb thing on youtube.
That everybody else already saw three years ago.
And wacky, badly, photoshopped billboards
were never that amusing to me.
And I just can't believe you believe those urban legends
But I have high hopes, someone'll point you toward snopes
and debunk that crazy junk you're spewing constantly.

No, I don't want a bowl of chicken soup for the soul.
Stop forwarding that crap to me.
Send more top ten lists and I'll slash my wrists.
Please stop forwarding that crap to me.
Well, I'm sorry I can't accept your paranoid rant.
And I don't want a Neiman Marcus cookie recipe.
Won't you kindly refrain, because it's hurting my brain.
Stop forwarding that crap to me.

Like glittery hearts and unicorns
and pictures of somebody's cat.
Now tell me...in what alternate reality
would I care about something like that?
And by the way, your quotes from George Carlin
aren't really George Carlin.
Mr. Rogers never fought the Vietcong.
And Bill Gates is never gonna give me something for nothing.
And I highly doubt some dead girl's gonna kill me if I don't pass your letter aloooong!

Well, now. I know you're wishin', I'll sign your petition.
But stop forwarding that crap to me.
And I don't want to read your series on conspiracy theories.
Just stop forwarding that CRAP to me.
And your two million loser friends all laugh my adress now
because you never figured out the way to BCC.

Now I've gotta insist, take me off of your list.
Stop forwarding that crap to me.
(Stop forwarding that crap to me).
(Stop forwarding that crap to me).
(Stop forwarding that crap to me).
(Stop forwarding that crap to me).
Just stop it now.
(Stop forwarding that crap to me).
Oooh, no.
(Stop forwarding that crap to me).
Ooooohhhhhh!
(Stop forwarding that crap to me).
I can't take it.
(Stop forwarding that crap to me).
Aw, please?!
(Stop forwarding that crap to me).
(Stop forwarding that crap to me).
You gotta stop.
(Stop forwarding that crap to me).
Right now!
(Stop forwarding that crap to me).
(Stop forwarding that crap to me).
I'm not kidding!
(Stop forwarding that crap to me).
At the risk of being slightly repitious I'm
gonna ask you now to stop!
(Stop)!
Sendin' me that!
(Crap)!
I don't want it!
Don't send it to me, don't send it to me.

(Stop forwarding that crap to me).
Just stop.
(Stop forwarding that crap to me).
Oooh!
Stop forwarding that craaaaap to me!
To me!
(AHHHHHH)!






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------ Performed by Weird Al Yankovic

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------ 08/27/2014

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