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Weird Al Yankovic Hardware Store Lyrics

Last updated: 11/08/2011 10:00:00 AM

[sound effects from tools]
Nothing ever (ever) happens in this town
Feelin' low down (down), not a lot to do around here
I thought that I would go right outta my mind
Until a friend told me the news

He said, "(Hey), you know that vacant lot
Right beside the gas station? Well, somebody bought it
And on the spot they're gonna build a shop
Where we can go buy bolts and screws"

Since then I've been walking on air (air)
I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair
'Cause I'm so excited and I really don't care
I've been waiting since last June

For this day to finally arrive
I'm so happy (happy) now just to be alive
'Cause any minute now I'm gonna be inside
Well, I hope they open soon

I can't wait no, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When they gonna open up that door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store

In my sleeping bag I camped out overnight
Right in front of the store, then as soon as it was light out
I pressed my nose right up against the glass
You know, I had to be first in line

Gonna get me a flashlight and a broom
Want a pair of pliers for every single room in my house
See those hacksaws? Very, very soon
One of them will be all mine

Guys with name tags walking down the aisles
Rows of garden hoses that go on for miles and miles
Brand new socket wrenches in a plethora of styles
All arranged alphabetically

And they're doing a promotional stunt
There's a great big purple sign out front
That says every 27th customer
Will get a ball pein hammer free

I can't wait no, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open up that door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store

I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store

(breathe)
Would you look at all that stuff ...
They've got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters
Trash compactors, juice extractors, shower rods and water heaters
Walkie-talkies, copper wires, safety goggles, radial tires
BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers
Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters
Paint removers, window louvers, masking tape and plastic gutters
Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables
Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles
Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication
Metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation
Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors
Tire gauges, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors
Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers
Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers
Soffit panels, circuit brakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers
Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers

I can't wait no, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open up that door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store

I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store

I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store

Thanks to J. Graham for submitting Hardware Store Lyrics.



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All these reviews but no mention of...... | Reviewer: Skidman | 11/2/11

I love Al and have seen him perform 5 times now and he always satisfies!
One thing amazes me - all the comments on the lyrics and not one mentions the "automatic circumcisers". Think about that one for a minute......



Oh yes he did! | Reviewer: Mike | 7/29/11

For those of you who seem to think he used audio tricks to sing the bridge, go see the live version on You Tube. Not only does he sing it but he nails it! Rappers have commented on how astounded they are to hear Wierd Al rap!



It's Technology | Reviewer: Marcel | 4/13/11

This is how I think Weird Al did it.
Using multiple tracks for separate lines, he would record one line at a time. For example, on one track he might record "allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters", then on a track that aligns perfectly he might sing "Trash compactors, juice extractors, shower rods and water heaters". This is how I believe he did it.
But hey, what do I know. I'm just 17 year-old nerd.
Teenagers have been wrong before.



Bridge | Reviewer: Timothy | 3/29/11

I have the patter part of the song as a separate track, and I've set it to loop constantly in the background. It perfectly lines up, and if you listen to it enough you can learn the words through osmosis. ;)



I'm almost there! | Reviewer: Rexy | 2/20/11

GUYS!!! I can almost sing all of the song! I know it all off by hard but, when it gets to "Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication" i just can't say it!!! Waaaaah, waaaaah!.... Ohh never mind... But i'm good enogh past and before that! Love the song!!! ^w^ XD ;) BD =]



Well Done Al | Reviewer: Will | 1/31/11

The bridge albeit hard is rather fun once you can get a handle on it. This may sound nerd-ish but studying phonetics to some degree helped me in being able to pronounce the words at that speed. As for the air......still having probs there. I am a saxophone player by trade so I have good air but somehow my lungs just cant get enough air yet. Still trying though. But seriously, well done Al!



Wow........... | Reviewer: Cherry | 11/26/10

Hardware Store is really neat, but did he really sing that? I bet he sang it low, and slow, then the computer sped it up and made it sound like his real voice only FASTER! Yeah, like on the movie,"Alvin and the chipmunks," they had the actors/actresses who talk really slow, then they speed it up on the computer to make it sound like chipmunk voices! :) I know way too much stuff.......(if you wanna be a know-it-all like me just watch cash cab and jepordy every night!)



EaSy | Reviewer: Weird Al fan | 5/2/10

The bridge is easy. All you need to do is sing along to it so much that you get it right. I you want to, download the song onto your SD card and put it in your DSi. Play it slowly so you can make out the words. I like the chorus :P the chorus is also easy.



breaks | Reviewer: Chris | 8/26/09

It sounds at some parts, while listening to the version without music, that there may actual breaks in the speech that were edited out.

I can get my breath to last throughout the whole bridge, but I trip frequently.



Its crazy... | Reviewer: Katherine | 11/24/08

HOW THE HECK DID HE LEARN TO SING THAT???

Anyway, Im currently trying to learn the bridge. Ive been playing flute, sax, piccolo AND oboe and still don't have the lungs to sing it. plus, it would help if I could sing faster.

Its impossible.