Amish Paradise Lyrics

Performed by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know, I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
I've churned butter once or twice
Living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice
Living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price
Living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell
But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool
if you come to visit you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe
It's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys
Living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice
Living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice
Living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised the barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a'nudder
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art
I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife
So don't be vain and don't be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heiny!

We've been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites
Living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights
Living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites
Living in an Amish paradise
ahahahahahahahahahahahahah yech

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Thanks to Nicolas for submitting Amish Paradise Lyrics.


Duh!!!! | Reviewer: Classikkrok! | 5/5/11

To the idiot reviewer, Derek, everybody knows that this song was originally, "Gangsta's Paradise" by Coolio, not Pastime Paradise by Stevie Wonder. After Weird Al wrote the parody of his song, Coolio was very offended. Weird Al sincerely apologized to Coolio for offending him with his song, but had already released it.

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Don't you all know this was a stevie wonder song? | Reviewer: Derek | 2/11/11

What I've never understood about Coolio being so butt hurt is that he ripped off Stevie Wonder's Pastime Paradise. Also like someone else said Weird Al did pay royaties.

Weird Al & Stevie Wonder are tight!

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About the song Amish Paradise performed by Weird Al Yankovic | Reviewer: Inyuyasha | 8/31/07

Coolio stop being a dickhead this song is soo fucking funny its the song on my myspace page coolio your version is cool 2 but weird al blew you away...

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Me | Reviewer: Weird Al | 7/29/07

Amazingly, I didn't get sued. It's fun and below at the same time copying. Other people have diffrent belives. One of mine is beliving no such thing as "Copy Rights". Sorry Coolio! SHUTUP AND BE COOL!

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Amish Paradise | Reviewer: Wm.Clark Drew II | 7/12/07

Why does Coolio have such a problem with "Amish Paradise"? I love this song. Coolio,you need to just shut up and quit your bitching.Do us all a favor and just back off!!

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That was funny!! | Reviewer: Anonymous | 7/7/07

Great song. Why would Coolio get pissed off about it? Still a great song that has over 1,000,000 on YouTube!!!!!!!

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Awesome | Reviewer: Halo 3 Sniper | 5/30/07

I just started listening to Weird Al and I love it. I love this and "Like A Surgeon". I was a bit offended by it at first as I have Amish live byu where we live and it makes fun of them and stuff, but Weird Al has litterally no idea about wha tAmishare like and what they believe in, so it really is quite funny.

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Dis is Funny | Reviewer: Anonymous | 5/20/07

Dis is one of the funniest songs i've heard,probably the funniest(kinda late review, lol) 5/20/07
Weird Al is da BEST !!!!!!!!!!

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response to 2nd comment | Reviewer: Young Blaze | 4/13/07

Coolio was offended because he said the song gangsta's paradise meant a lot to him an the song Amish Paradise was disrespectful to all of his hard work

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1st response | Reviewer: stuart | 3/21/07

In response to the guy up top.
No weird al didn't get sued because he always payed the royalties.
He started out doing his own songs and when he had the money he started redoing others.
Besides, i think he must be pretty clever to redo the lyrics that well.
Good on ya Weird al!

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